WOW this outfit haunts me. I mean I could be kidnapped, inappropriately touched, not fed for days and still wouldn’t be as traumatized as this “look” has left me. WTF is with that collar? This costume is the perfect definition of “Too Muchery”.

Im calling it Bondage Cyrus or maybe Gag Montana

A mashup of Lady Gaga‘s Poker face Feat. Christopher Walken and Cartman from South Park.

So I’ve never booked a flight that takes off at 6am and somehow I did. That’s all in the past so were not gonna talk about that. What we will talk about is how I looked way too chic for LAS (lame ass Vegas Airport) and how Delta (lame ass excuse for an airline) fucked me up. I get to the airport at 4:30 for my flight that leaves at 6:30 am, Perfect timing right? NOOOOOOOTTT. I check in, go through security, get to my gate , and buy more Dramamine (I get nauseous when I fly from West to East). Now you’re supposed to take them an hour before you fly and so I did. Here comes the NOOOOOOOTTTT. Ten minutes before we had to board the plane this # yes I said # because I will refrain from calling her a BITCH(plus I don’t know her like that besides she may be a nice bitch), came on to deliver a message “ Attention Passengers we are having some technical difficulties with the plane, the problem is mechanical we’ve already ordered the part it is on the next plane from Salt Lake City and will be replaced as soon it comes in. Your flight will now depart at 9:30am and we will begin re-issuing boarding passes with passengers that have connecting flights first”.

Summ ma ma Bitch, I swear my color almost came out because I wanted to cut-er not cut her but cut-er all one word minus the H. So now I’m doped up on Dramamine, stuck at this fuck box with slot machines they call an airport, just wishing I still had a balance on my NetJets card so I can get the F##K out of dodge. So almost 3 hours later they issued me new tickets to get on the 9:30 flight to Atlanta and the 5:30 flight from Atlanta to Miami. The fuckery continues peeps, I get to HOTLANTA and I look at the ticket it says Gate A18 ok lets go. NOOOOTTTTTT. I get to gate A18 and everyone seems to be going to New York……ummmm I’m trying to get to Miami. I go up to the counter and say “ Hi, do you know where my gate is because it says A18 and this is the wrong fucking gate” (ok I don’t usually cuss this much but I’m about done with Delta at this point). His reply “ Oh yeah your new gate is now A21“. Lets reverse and talk about how the first plane has private TV’s and OK seats etc.. Now I’m on a Greyhound with wings and a baby that just wont shut up. Took another Dramanine and the guy next to me seems bent on having a conversation. He was actually nice, well both of them I sat between two older guys. I didn’t mean to be rude to them but the Dramamine kicked in I slept and woke up 40 minutes before we landed.

My JetSet Look to ride on Delta a.k.a the bus with wings

I wont go into full details on how I feel about management at Ungaro specially Mounir Moufarrige. But I will say that hiring Lindsay as a Creative Advisor because “she’s often photographed” may be the dumbest fucking thing Ungaro has done. I couldn’t care if they hired Lindsay Lohan to be the face of Ungaro, a model at the show, just not as a designer or creative advisor. The collection was so high school, mixed with hints of Herve Leger, over used pink, and a heart motif that just wont die. In this economy it upsets me that companies like Ungaro have the funds to propel Hot Mess Lindsay while geniuses like Lacroix go under.

…Click to continue reading | Hot Mess at Ungaro

Although the economy is not at its best right now, some brands and designers are trying extremely hard to not only appeal but also sale to the masses. Enter the Roberto Cavalli store at Caesars’ Forum Shops. About a month ago they were having a sale, which was evident by the small frame in the window that stated 70% off. Well Las Vegas is full of tacky tourists (not all but 90%) that are used to shopping at JCPenney’s clearance bins instead of boutiques. Well the team at Cavalli wasn’t going to let effect their bottom line. Out with the frame and here come these hugeeeeeeeeeeee sale posters. Not the ones that corporate sends and are part of the store’s visual aesthetic but the generic ones that mom and pop shops buy wholesale (see picture below).

Roberto Cavalli Window at Ceasars Forum Shops

…Click to continue reading | Roberto Cavalli Out of Business Sale?

“We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be between a man and a woman.” says Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009. Wow this dumb bitch obviously has been living under a rock for the last 3 years. I don’t know what to say except i’m not surprised, after all Miss USA is a beauty pageant. Expecting these girls to be smart would be too much to ask for plus i’m sure she forgot to put on her brain after putting on those God awful door knockers.

…Click to continue reading | WTF: Miss California Hates Gay Marriage

What’s with the camel toe? I don’t even think camels like their toe as much as some of you. Just like most people, I love a good camel toe every once in awhile but enough is enough!!! Everyday I see someone walking around with black tights, and a t-shirt that they try and pass off as a mini dress. As a result I’m stuck looking at underwear lines, camel toes, and all around ugly shapes down there. Can we please stop this horrible trend? If you feel the need to wear a tight or fitted bottom please do us all a favor and try pull out a classic pencil skirt or the oh-so fashionable skinny jean, and hold the camel toe. Next time I see you at Fred Segal funny crotch I’ll have no choice but to scream WTF.

Marc Jacobs says No To Camel Toe

Having experienced the “Pageant Lifestyle” first hand I can now be more critical of it than ever before. I know a lot of people think these girls are an inspiration to fashion but I’m here to say otherwise. Pageant winners are an inspiration to their community, themselves, and stage actors. Since they are on stage 90% of the time parading around and showing their talents the fashions they wear are always outlandish, bold and even tacky at times. They wear lime as if it was black and Cubic Zirconia’s as if it they were pearls. But all that is small talk compared to their headshots, 5% smile, 5% personality, 20% beauty and 70% photoshopped. I wont knock down Photoshop but I will knock down an image that is badly photoshopped. Here is my top 10 “ Umm is she seriously a contestant” for the 2009 Miss USA™ pageant list.

Not that Sarah Palin set a great example for Miss Alaska but boy did they drop the ball on this one. I hope Ashton comes out soon because I’m being Punk’d by the Miss Universe organization. Donald this is not funny. Ok at first it was funny but now I wanna cry, she looks so sad as if her eyes are saying “ I will freeze myself in a block of ice if I don’t win”.

…Click to continue reading | Miss USA™ 2009: 20% Pageant 80% Comedy