So I’ve never booked a flight that takes off at 6am and somehow I did. That’s all in the past so were not gonna talk about that. What we will talk about is how I looked way too chic for LAS (lame ass Vegas Airport) and how Delta (lame ass excuse for an airline) fucked me up. I get to the airport at 4:30 for my flight that leaves at 6:30 am, Perfect timing right? NOOOOOOOTTT. I check in, go through security, get to my gate , and buy more Dramamine (I get nauseous when I fly from West to East). Now you’re supposed to take them an hour before you fly and so I did. Here comes the NOOOOOOOTTTT. Ten minutes before we had to board the plane this # yes I said # because I will refrain from calling her a BITCH(plus I don’t know her like that besides she may be a nice bitch), came on to deliver a message “ Attention Passengers we are having some technical difficulties with the plane, the problem is mechanical we’ve already ordered the part it is on the next plane from Salt Lake City and will be replaced as soon it comes in. Your flight will now depart at 9:30am and we will begin re-issuing boarding passes with passengers that have connecting flights first”.

Summ ma ma Bitch, I swear my color almost came out because I wanted to cut-er not cut her but cut-er all one word minus the H. So now I’m doped up on Dramamine, stuck at this fuck box with slot machines they call an airport, just wishing I still had a balance on my NetJets card so I can get the F##K out of dodge. So almost 3 hours later they issued me new tickets to get on the 9:30 flight to Atlanta and the 5:30 flight from Atlanta to Miami. The fuckery continues peeps, I get to HOTLANTA and I look at the ticket it says Gate A18 ok lets go. NOOOOTTTTTT. I get to gate A18 and everyone seems to be going to New York……ummmm I’m trying to get to Miami. I go up to the counter and say “ Hi, do you know where my gate is because it says A18 and this is the wrong fucking gate” (ok I don’t usually cuss this much but I’m about done with Delta at this point). His reply “ Oh yeah your new gate is now A21“. Lets reverse and talk about how the first plane has private TV’s and OK seats etc.. Now I’m on a Greyhound with wings and a baby that just wont shut up. Took another Dramanine and the guy next to me seems bent on having a conversation. He was actually nice, well both of them I sat between two older guys. I didn’t mean to be rude to them but the Dramamine kicked in I slept and woke up 40 minutes before we landed.

My JetSet Look to ride on Delta a.k.a the bus with wings

“My bathroom is Chanel my bedroom’s Louis Vuitton

An office decorated in Ralph Lauren

I got a Versace couch and pillows I sleep on

With the matching robe and slippers I bed to differ”

Lil Kim- Doing it way big

Thank you Jesus, Allah, the Dalai Lama and whoever else contributed to the power coming back on. In other News I have a Surprise. I wont Spoil it but you will love it. Look out for it soon its huge, big, gigantic, even bigger than Paris Hilton’s shoe size.

1. Prepare yourself mentally, its 2008 living in the dark can get intense for some.

2. Find the House Manager ASAP.

3. Create a plan of action. If the power isn’t on in a certain time frame (meaning minutes after you realized it was off) see # 6.

4. Find snacks, there’s no point in being hungry because it’s dark.

5. Don’t go crazy, get creative. This is an emergency and every member of the Glam Squad should be called. It’s one thing to be badly dressed when you have power, it’s another if you don’t so call in the pro’s.

…Click to continue reading | How to Cope with a Power Outage if you’re Rich

WTF man, so I woke up around 3 am to tinkle and all the lights in my house were on. All I remember was watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Special. So I get back to sleep and 3 hours later(thats right I take cat naps) I reached for my phone and the damm power was out. So I’m thinking aww S**t did I forget to pay the bill? Nope because I overpaid it last time I made a payment. So I put on my Nancy Drew hat (BCBG) and decided to do some investigating. I stepped outside and it was very somber, raining and cold; not wearing a Moncler Jacket I stepped right back into the house. I tell you what if it’s one thing I hate it’s rain and cold mixed together, it felt so sticky( like a pop sickle melting). Continuing with my investigation I am now looking through my window into various places; street lights are off, neighbor 1 nope, two uh uh, 3 yeah right. I was beginning to think that these people just never had their lights on, meanwhile there’s three helicopters circling around the neighborhood. So I called the power company for some guidance and before an operator even got the phone this prompt goes into saying ” We are experiencing a power outage in the following areas” I swore she listed half of Vegas before getting to me. Well no more sleuthing for me and my Nancy Drew get up, to quote Peter Griffin on Family Guy ” now we play the waiting game”.

Posted from my BlackBerry!