Having experienced the “Pageant Lifestyle” first hand I can now be more critical of it than ever before. I know a lot of people think these girls are an inspiration to fashion but I’m here to say otherwise. Pageant winners are an inspiration to their community, themselves, and stage actors. Since they are on stage 90% of the time parading around and showing their talents the fashions they wear are always outlandish, bold and even tacky at times. They wear lime as if it was black and Cubic Zirconia’s as if it they were pearls. But all that is small talk compared to their headshots, 5% smile, 5% personality, 20% beauty and 70% photoshopped. I wont knock down Photoshop but I will knock down an image that is badly photoshopped. Here is my top 10 “ Umm is she seriously a contestant” for the 2009 Miss USA™ pageant list.

Not that Sarah Palin set a great example for Miss Alaska but boy did they drop the ball on this one. I hope Ashton comes out soon because I’m being Punk’d by the Miss Universe organization. Donald this is not funny. Ok at first it was funny but now I wanna cry, she looks so sad as if her eyes are saying “ I will freeze myself in a block of ice if I don’t win”.

Miss Kansas looks like Morticia from the Adams Family after leaving M.A.C

Miss Massachusetts’s picture was apparently taken in the 90’s. What’s with the vintage feel? Plus she looks more like 40 instead of 21.

Miss Michigan not only took the picture using the self-timer on her camera but she edited it using Microsoft Paint.

Did Miss Missouri actually compete at Miss Misouri USA™ or did her dad pay for her title she come in at large?

I’d like to see a birth certificate Miss New Hampshire. I’m almost sure that Her and Miss Massachusetts play bridge together at Shady Pines.

Umm who approved this headshot? Miss New Mexico obviously went into the wrong ballroom when she competed for Miss New Mexico. Miss Extra Terrestrial was in 106 A not 106 B.

Miss North Dakota is so wrong for taking this picture off her Match.com profile, shame on you and those pixels.

LMAO, Miss Oregon is way too easy.

I heart Miss Idaho, any girl who can take her headshot wearing her pool cover up gets my vote. Plus I love the pixels, it takes me back to the days when 4 Mega pixel cameras were expensive and high res images were a myth.

I will end this post by saying these girls are a necessity to the 2009 Miss USA™ pageant because: 1. We need something to laugh at and 2. They make the judges jobs way easier. If any pageant coaches are reading this please call these girls as they are badly in need of a good coach, and if any of the contestants are reading this please don’t email me unless a(n) better face image is attached.

Miss USA™ 2009 will air April 19 on NBC.

Images: Via MissUSA