The term “friend” gets more loosely thrown around than Paris Hilton at a gangbang. I think address books should come with more sub categories than Friend and Work, because there are almost a million “friend” types. There’s the Best Friend, The Friend with Limits, the Flakey Friend, The Fun Friend, The Needy Friend, The Emotional Friend , The Social Friend, The Friend by Association, The I don’t know if we’re friends but I always see them friend, The One Way Friend, The Crazy Friend and The Convenient Friend. No need to log onto Wikipidia for the descriptions, as they are right here.

The Best Friend: This is the friend that money can’t buy. This friend is loyal, funny, caring, selfless, there for you, never disappoints, makes you laugh, is fun to be with and will likely not sleep with your ex. This is the friend that you will call just because; you’ll send cards to just because and will always value their opinion even if you disagree.

The friend with Limits: This is my favorite kind of friend, I don’t mean to be negative but if you don’t expect much from someone than you can’t be disappointed. This friend will be there for you sometimes, will do you a favor if they gain something in return, and will surely pick you up from the club if you’re drunk if 1. There’s no cabs around or 2. You have gas money.

The Flakey Friend: This friend is the worst kind. This bitch will never come through for shit. Chances are this friend will invite you lunch and at the last minute cancel. This friend is kept around because you can have great conversations over the phone via txt message or AIM.

The Fun Friend: Wanna go get fucked up and eat pie? I’ll buy the booz. This friend is the best friend when you’re down. I guaranteed you you’ll have a great time throwing up on the side of the highway and waking up in Mexico from going out with this one. The friendship is fun based only never call this friend with your problems just say you wanna have fun. Keep your man close because when drunk this friend will fuck your man.

The Needy Friend: This friend is worst than Amy Winehouse between hits. They will need everything all the time; A pen, coffee, to borrow your new Harry Potter book that you haven’t read yet, or your favorite sweater that they can’t fit. This friend is best paired with another Needy Friend.

The Emotional Friend: This friend is sweet at times but don’t wear silk if he/she asks you to come over because he/she will cry on your Dolce & Gabbana. Somehow this friend always manages to get into an emotional rut and becomes insanely impossible to deal with. If its not the boyfriend its work, if its not work its her life and how nothing ever goes right. Meaning she ran out of gas and would rather cry than get on her IPhone and find a gas station. This type of friend can be found crying while watching Oprah, stay away from this friend in person at all cost remember you’re wearing silk.

The Social Friend: A party ain’t a party without this friend. Like they say if someone is opening an envelope he/she is there. Usually the life of the party this friend is great to attend parties with, go shopping with or anywhere social. This friend will likely be best friend with the Flakey Friend, watch her.

The Friend by Association: This person is always near a friend but you can’t bring yourself to exchange numbers with them. Chances are they are a shadow meaning without the friend they are as dull as paper and have nothing to say or an opinion. They can also be referred to as a Yes Friend because they will agree with everything their friend agrees with. They are best paired with the Social Friend.

The I don’t know if we’re friends but I always see them friend: One of my favorites, this friend is very common they can be found at your local mall, the door at your favorite club, somewhere near your office, or cleaning your office. You and this friend will have a light five-minute conversation daily but it never goes anywhere. The most visible form of this friend is your Starbucks Barista/o.

The One Way Friend: In their world the road only goes one way. This friend will call you and have a two-hour phone call and you wont even get a word in. They will call you with their problem and when you call them with yours it will become theirs. This friend will never attend your events because of sickness or some sad excuse but they will get very angry if you don’t RSVP to their “Get Together” at the local Red Lobster. Avoid this friend like the plague or anywhere Paris Hilton has been.

The Crazy Friend: My 3rd favorite, you will love this friend because you can’t believe the shit they come up with. During breakups this friend will usually ask you to meet them at K-Mart so they can pick out a bat because for the fifth time this year they are going to “ Fuck his shit up”. This friend is fun to be around in moderation and will likely end up on the News or The Real World. Never ever get this bitch angry she’s likely write “Bitch” with red nail polish on your Range Rover.

The Convenient Friend: This friendship works both ways and is like a fuck buddy situation because you both know not to expect anything more. This form of friendship usually happens with Ex’s. Whenever you need something he/she is there for you and vice versa. If you weren’t Ex’s this type of friendship can lead into a great relationship.

Being a great friend can be hard as there are a lot of factors that play into it but trying is key. As insane as the Crazy Friend or the Emotional Friend may sound a well-rounded friend will be all of the above. The problem is when one type takes over and it becomes about one person or one thing. A friendship is like a recipe it requires great balance. I will end this post with a quote from wise person that I recently met:

“Why should I make you a priority when you make me an option?” Amparo N, Las Vegas